Aloha Kākou, Keili Here.
My apologies for the late and brief entry. This week has been stuffed with festivities, activities, and cramming homework and taxes into any time that was left over.
I thought, since iʻve recently transformed into a 26 year old, that I would take the opportunity to reflect on this year a bit. It has been the hardest year of my life. But with the hardships, I am learning and growing, hopefully towards becoming better.
This time last year we had just gotten ʻAʻĀ in a slip, and my sister, Chris, and a small group of friends decided to spend the afternoon floating around together. It was definitely a distraction, but I found it to be a reminder. That the ocean connects us all, binds us eternally. Looking into her depth and beyond her horizon, you find death and life happening endlessly beyond your perception. There is such beauty moana holds, but brutality as well. It isn’t always glassy clear waters, there is just as much danger as grace.
I hope to never avoid jumping in for fear of coming across turbid waters.
One very important practice I was reminded of this year is Hiʻuwai. Hiʻuwa was traditionally a cleansing ceremony of Hawaiian practice where the people would frolic and bath in ocean water with the intention of cleansing. However, my modern day adaptation has become a non-negotiable for my day.
I find that if I miss it, a sense of inbalance creeps in. You know the feeling of being in balance with the unverse, everything seems to align well with little foresight and you are able to lean into the comfort that all will be okay? Well, the ocean provides me with that. It’s like hitting a reset button on my day. It allows me to forget about all the thoughts and anxieties building up from the day-to-day bullshit and just, be.
A connection with what is really important, a reflection of who we all really are - the good and ugly… all of it - this is what the ocean provides effortlessly. Any way I can extend this practice solo or with loved ones is precious to me.
A good friend asked me recently what 26 lessons I have learned so far in my life. He told me that the most important lesson he has held on to is that leaning on loved ones is a blessing in times of need.
I am not sure I have all my lessons locked in yet, when he told me his I reflected on it with curiosity from my own resistance to it… Growing up, I sort of saw leaning on others as a weakness. I hope(d) one day to be independent completely, successful, and able to provide for those I love without asking for any material or emotional support.
I have decided I agree with him strongly and extend the sentiment out to those who have passed before us and who will come long after. The way we find comfort with and from them is different for everyone. For me, I find them in the ocean.
-Keili
As always, this post is dedicated to Illa McEvilly, who is the best mother in the world. I am so grateful to have met her in this life, and pray she will always show me where to go next. Thank you to all my friends and especially my family for making this Birthday feel a little less empty. As I navigate this new way of life, I hope to be wise enough to take my friends advice and lean with trust and love on those who offer it. <3
Love you 💗